WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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