I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
he fucked my hip out of place.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
