It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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