He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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