We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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