Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
