i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
