and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I looked at my own cervix.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Randomize
