I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
