Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
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