Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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