Nicole vs. Life
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
