Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
