He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
