she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
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