It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
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