Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
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