like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthdayâ€
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
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