I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
