i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
