I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
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