We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I don't think brook has ever known best
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Randomize
