Plan B is the new Plan A
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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