i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
