There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
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