I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
