why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
