Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
