no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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