Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
The adults are the big ones right?
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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