so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
