i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
