Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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