It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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