Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Randomize
