if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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