You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
