Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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