I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
