There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
