he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Randomize
