We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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