I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
