I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I have fence marks all over my body
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
That was before I lit my hair on fire
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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