Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
