I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize