cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
My life is pants optional.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
