HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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