Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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