he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
