I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
that's an acceptable place to lick
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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