Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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