Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
