I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
The Olympian is in my bed
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