He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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