Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Couch. On fire.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
