i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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