If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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