He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize