It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
